The notion of radical self love is one that has grown in popularity over the years, especially in the age of social media, but what does it actually mean to love yourself? For this month’s blog we wanted to really take the time to break down this concept that is often referenced because many of our values at Bottoms Up are rooted in it!
Before we talk about what self love is, we want to talk about what self love is not. Self love is not just an isolated event that you do every once in awhile, for example going tanning or getting your nails done for #selfcaresunday! Instead self love is an attitude and mindset that is the result of unconditional acceptance and care for yourself. We think there are 4 things that truly make up what it means to love yourself, and if you were to live by these you would be on your way to living your best life!
1. Self love is fully accepting yourself for who you are, right now, in this moment.
You can’t deprive yourself of self love until you reach a goal or fit a standard. Self love is all about fully accepting yourself in every season regardless of what your life looks like. If you can’t love yourself now, you won’t be able to love yourself when you’re a few pounds lighter. If you can’t love yourself when you get passed up for a promotion, you won’t be able to love yourself when you do get chosen. When you realize the things that make you beautiful are unwavering and do not depend on unrealistic standards or outside circumstances, you will realize that the only thing holding you back from full and complete acceptance is yourself.
2. Self love is not needing the validation of others
No one else’s opinions and preferences matter, besides your own. There is no wrong or right answer when it comes to feeling beautiful. Whether you prefer being glammed up or all natural you are beautiful! Whether you get dressed up or prefer leggings and a tee, you are beautiful! Just because someone feels beautiful one way doesn’t mean you’re any less beautiful in your way and vice versa. Self love is not being worthy or beautiful because someone else said you are but it is being worthy and beautiful because outside of any opinions you already are. Self love is knowing that beauty by definition is not a standard or broad definition you have to make yourself fit into, but knowing your name is already under the definition of beauty and you don’t have to change a thing about yourself unless you want to.
3. Self love is being kind to yourself.
Negative self talk creates the opposite of self love; self hate. This is because we can all agree the things we say to ourselves can be so mean sometimes. The truth is you would never talk to your friends the same way you talk to yourself. A good way to help create healthier self dialogue, is by thinking about what you would say to a friend if they were struggling with whatever you are.
4. Self love is taking care of yourself.
We take back what we said earlier! Getting your nails done or going tanning for #selfcaresunday is totally a way to love yourself, but you can’t just do these things without all the others we mentioned! Taking care of yourself and doing what is good for both your mental and physical health is a huge part of self love. The more you love yourself, the more you will want to do these things for you rather than for anyone else or their approval.
Although there are many other things that make up self love, these are the things we found most important for anyone just getting started. We hope you enjoyed hearing what we think about what it means to love yourself, and we’d love to hear from you! Drop us a comment below about how you define self love.
Now, go and love yourself, you beautiful human!
p.s. whenever you’re ready, come spend #selfcaresunday with us and use some of our amazing services. We’d love to have you!