I have never been a fan of the Willy Wonka story. I love candy, often fantasized about an entire river of chocolate that I could immerse myself all day every day, but the idea of an entire factory of other-worldly, little creatures that, as far as I could see, were more akin to victims of abduction than well-cared for employees (I’m watching you, Mr. Wonka), has never held the appeal and nostalgia it obviously holds for others.
Sorry, not sorry.
Nevertheless, the majority of my beef with the Willy Wonka franchise is not with its bizarre plot or off-putting characters (really, how did that annoying cowboy kid not get slapped at least once?), but I demand retribution on behalf of the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory staff.
Who was the Oompa Loompas’ tanning technician? I want a name.
These poor souls. What kind of country are we becoming if we don’t hold the guilty party responsible for this onslaught on healthy skincare?
The green hair, the white eyebrows, the crisscross white suspenders and striped turtleneck. These are all fashion statements, I get it. You do you, Mr. Loompa. These cosmetic elements are not where my issue lies.
I desire justice for the crime that when people like you and I are struck with fear at the thought of spray tanning because of this image that comes immediately to mind…
...I am pained.
When we hear the trembling question from so many people who walk through our doors, “Umm will I turn orange?” I immediately feel an anger well within me.
An Oompa Loompa complex has wreaked havoc on the tanning industry, spreading unsolicited misconceptions that keep so many from the glow of healthy skin that they desire.
Here are three lies of the Oompa Loompa Complex we can debunk today:
1. Of course, spray tanning makes my skin orange
Spray tanning DOES NOT turn our skin orange. Granted, spray tanning with the wrong solution, in a category outside of your ideal shade for your unique skin tone, or in an unprofessional machine or by an inexperienced technician could give you unsavory results. However, spray tanning in a state-of-the-art booth with proper prep, an intelligent misting technique, and careful after-care, it’s almost too easy to look your best. There you glow.
2. Well, spray tans fade quickly
With the right priming of the skin, exfoliation, and after-care, your tan could last as long as a few weeks! That’s at least two dates, a presentation at work, a dinner with an important client, and your cousin’s barbecue! All events where you look your best, can show off that cute sweater with the shoulder cut-outs you’ve been dying to sport, and your first impressions are suddenly made easy as you’re walking in confidence.
Plus, Bottoms Up sets you up to succeed with an easy-to-follow guide to help you get the most out of your spray tan after you step out of the booth.
3. Spray tanning isn’t safe, I’ll just tan in the sun
Actually, spray tanning has been shown to go in tandem with your skin’s natural shedding process. Many find that the process of prepping and caring for their spray tans has helped heal acne quicker, is beneficial in relieving stress, and overall, makes you feel more comfortable in your own skin—literally. Who doesn’t want that?
Tanning in the sun, in moderation, could be okay, however, if you’re like me, seven minutes into tanning on the beach or by the pool and I’m sweating, uncomfortable, constantly fearful that I’m turning pink and so much of the process is left up to chance.
This is not okay when it comes to my skin or yours.
Find out what makes our spray tans different here.
While Bottoms Up Tanning Salon uses all reasonable efforts to ensure that this information is current and complete on the date of publication, no representatives or warranties are made (expressed or implied) as to the reliability, accuracy or completeness of such information. Bottoms Up Tanning Salon, therefore, cannot be held liable for any loss or damage arising or indirectly from the use of, or any action taken in reliance on, any information appearing in this publication.