An Open Letter to Vacaville Summers

 Dear Vacaville Summer,

 

A lot of people enjoy you and eagerly look forward to your arrival every year.

I’m not one of these people.

 

You bring a lot of people joy with your debilitating heat that makes it feel like I’m on the surface of the sun.

 

I’m not one of these people.

 

You make my car a little oven on wheels where the seat belts are a thousand degrees and leather seats bond with my naked thighs when I wear shorts.

 

Thanks for that.

 

And you ruin my tanning lotion when I leave it in that little mobile sauna I call my car when you come around.

 

That’s not going to happen this year, just so you know.

 

Vacaville Summer, I know so many people love you, but I grieve your coming, I count the days

to your annual demise, I try to avoid you.

 

Don’t take this personally, but please run your course quickly and don’t think you’re going to get the chance to ruin my heat-activated tanning lotion when it’s in my car because you won’t.

I vow to keep it in my Bottoms Up duffle bag with my peepers and bring it in my house when I come home from tanning. I promise myself I won't let you claim another tanning lotion bottle nor ruin its ingredients, costing me money, and making me despise you more.

 

I hope you got the message, Vacaville Summer. I love that you let me show off my sun-kissed skin with sundresses and sleeveless tops, but your heat won’t take another lotion from me.

 

Mark my words.

 

Love,

 

A Vacavillian

 

 

While Bottoms Up Tanning Salon uses all reasonable efforts to ensure that this information is current and complete on the date of publication, no representatives or warranties are made (expressed or implied) as to the reliability, accuracy or completeness of such information. Bottoms Up Tanning Salon, therefore, cannot be held liable for any loss or damage arising or indirectly from the use of, or any action taken in reliance on, any information appearing in this publication. 

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